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Frontier Follies: Death by Nitrogen
I love gardening. I grow vegetables and flowers of all kinds. I’m particularly fond of my "Hot Cocoa" rose bushes, whose blooms are a deep brownish-red. They bring joy and color to my...
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Frontier Follies: Love Will Keep Us Together
I’d seen animals mate before. I grew up having cats and had watched my fair share of National Geographic specials. Still, having grown up on golf course, I was ill prepared for what lay before me one...
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Be Specific
We have a nice, hardworking 18-year-old boy working for us this summer. Though his actual job description includes fixing fence and doing other ranch-related tasks, I decided to appropriate him...
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Frontier Follies: Chasing in the Horses
Note: Almost ten years into my marriage to a cattle rancher, I remain clueless when it comes to cattle, horses, and agriculture in general. That said, I still like to volunteer to chase my husband’s...
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Frontier Follies: The Ranch Tour
Every summer, our local small town hosts the countywide Cattlemen’s Convention, which gives everyone in the area—cattlemen and otherwise—the chance to dust off and don their cowboy hats and shiny boots...
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Handy Randy
I woke up this morning thinking about Handy Randy. Boy, oh boy, can I ever pick ’em. A few years ago, Randy, a down-and-out local man, approached me as I was walking out of the grocery store one day....
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Did She Just Say ‘Dick’?
My mother-in-law, a.k.a Marlboro Man’s Mom, is a perfectly homogenized blend of both Born-and-Bred Country Girl and Elegant Sophisticate. Having grown up on a working cattle ranch herself, she...
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Handy Randy Gets Dentures
When Handy Randy first came to work for us, he had three teeth. One pointed due north, one pointed due south, and the third just kind of dangled. His already startling appearance was not helped at all...
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The Worst Moment of My Life
I’m sorry, but I have to talk about it. Just a couple of years after Marlboro Man and I were married, I woke up early one morning and stumbled to the bathroom. I…(oh, dear. How does a thirty-something,...
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Oh I’m Dirty Dan, the World’s Dirtiest Man…
I never have taken a shower. You can’t see my shirt, it’s so covered with dirt And my ears have enough to grow flowers. —Shel Silverstein Sunday I reached a milestone in my life. I became the dirtiest...
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Frontier Follies: Anything for a Date by Ree
My strapping, burly, handsome Marlboro Man of a husband and I had been married a year-and-a-half. I was dying to go out on a real date. We had a six-month-old baby and I was still neck-deep in the...
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Frontier Follies: My Initiation by Ree
I’d been dating my handsome now-husband for awhile when he invited me to come work cattle on the ranch he shares with his brother. Having grown up on a golf course, I had no notion of what "working...
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